The dad. The entertainer. The cube rat.
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My cousin Ian, on his way from Austin to Osaka for some super-brainiac post-doctoral type thing, was stuck on a plane for six hours at San Francisco last Friday night, courtesy of a storm we were having. We brought him home and made him eat some of Mary’s chicken pot pie. The weather cleared the next morning and he was gone before we woke up.
My dad’s dad passed away in November at 95. He became a Lutheran minister in 1935 and served in about 10 churches, ending up in Madison, Wisconsin. Laura and I joined the family for the funeral in Minneapolis, where Opa had lived in retirement. Then we all drove to Madison and had another service at the church where Opa had served his longest tenure. It was good to see everybody, and it was good to know Opa went out a pretty satisfied guy. He was a connoisseur of church music — he booked the organist for his funeral himself, a couple of years ago, and the man was indeed the best organist I’ve ever heard live. I was picturing Opa lying there listening with that sly little smile he used to get when he heard something he really liked.
We’d been thinking about moving across town to the Mission for a long time. Closer to both our jobs, Lilly’s school (and Laura’s too, as of this year), better weather, more diversity, decent coffee. This summer we finally went ahead and got an agent (Steve Davis, who is married to Cassandra Mettling-Davis, the architect who helped wiht our remodel a few years ago) and from there things went very fast. It was of course a big project, and it inevitably oozed on into the school semester, which increased the stress level, but finally we were out of there.
Next chapter: A short-term lease in Bernal Heights while we shop for our new place.
Hied me to the ancestral homeland for a week to attend a professional conference and see friends and family. My first day here I got to see my mom (right) and my sister Jo (left) perform with a flute choir called Flute Cocktail, accompanied by my brother Nathaniel on the Andean quena and related tubular things. The next day my brother threw a fairly raucous brunch, partly in my honor. I also got a tour of my brother-in-law Luther’s dauntingly large collection of solar cooking equipment, all of it fully functional — I witnessed him making a batch of darn good custard pudding with the parabolic reflector stove. Later on my dad showed off his most recent model railroading achievements.
Auntie Nic was here the last few days. She seems never to stop doing crafts and stuff. The kids dig it. Here they were making little painted glass refrigerator magnets. (As usual, click on the picture for more.)
December is always multiple madness month at our house. Lilly’s birthday, then Laura’s, then Christmas and New Year, then (today) Mary’s.
Here are some pics of all the stuff we crammed into the week between Christmas and New Year.
The Santa summary: Mary got the Kitchenaid mixer she’s been wanting. I got the pair of congas I’ve been dreaming of, plus a pair of bongos that I hadn’t even hinted about. Lilly got some cool clothes (picture) and a new trapeze-y thing to do acrobatic tricks on in the front room. (For her birthday she got a safety mat to go under the trapeze. Not perhaps as good as those bouncy nets that the grownup acrobats have, but it would be tricky to string up a net in the front room of our house.) Laura got both the iPod Nano and the guitar she had been wanting. Everybody was pretty gruntled, all in all.
My sister Karen runs a very nice website about childbirth and parenting. Today she points to some more work by the SIDS researcher James McKenna about how OK it is to have your baby sleep next to you.
Date: Sun, 21 Oct 2001 19:56:54 -0700 (PDT)From: theokuster@usa.netSubject: on scheduleWe are on schedule. We keep up the pace. People continue to invite us over, and we continue to overeat! Yesterday we had horse during the first course, and then a large carp, smoked with tomato and pepper and basil. That was only the second of three meals on Sunday!The church services are all very strong, good liturgy and good preaching. They use LW in Russian. There is a big need for the translation of Buls’ Notes, sermon helps into Russian. 20 or more students and pastors would be using them, but these people are not good at English. We might be doing that as a new project, it could cost maybe $5 for each note, and maybe some people back in SE MN might be interesting in “sponsoring” a note or two.On the other hand, the physical organization of the congregations into a church body that can be self supporting, self governing, and self propagating is not going well at all. In fact, it is the same story we saw in Panama, and in other places, the missionaries will not let it happen, they want to maintain control of all decision making and treat the people like children. Too bad, but this could be changed in time.We have had good weather for the entire trip. And the music events are very good. We saw Aida, the opera, on Saturday night. Our good friend Gabit, the Bach specialist, gave a wonderful concert on Friday night.We have 3 hours of video. Way too much for anybody to sit and watch, but maybe we will see it in little segments.We return on Wed according to schedule. But the London to Mpls leg was not reconfirmed, they said there would probably be no problem, but NW is keeping it tight and canceling flights. We have 5 hours in London and will probably call from there.Dad
Yesterday (the 11th) was Larry West’s birthday. Larry is Laura’s namesake. (Is that how you say that? She is named for him, I mean.) Laura’s birth, and her getting Larry’s name, did a lot to help me get over Larry’s death. The world still doesn’t feel complete without Larry in it, but it is much closer to it with Laura. Sometimes I imagine that I’m detecting some of his manner in her — I don’t know what it is: the directness, the obstinacy, the animal obsessions — and it makes me think of him, for which I’m grateful.
My aunt Judy does serious genealogical research, which frees up the rest of us for the spurious kind. The most glamorous thing I’ve dug up so far involves an L.A. lawyer named Ted Kuster (no relation, I’m pretty sure), whose fame derives from his wife Una leaving him for the poet Robinson Jeffers (now remembered mostly for his bricklaying skills, I loyally note) around 1910. If there is a point to this, it escapes me.
And from Elizabeth, back in the Minnesota homeland, this exhausting report:We had the most amazing summer. The girls and I were outside nearly every minute, swimming, kayaking, canoeing, motorboating, horseback riding, frog/crayfish/minnow catching, grilling, swimming, camping, relaxing in the hammock, playing t-ball and softball, and of course, swimming. We found a fantastic beach about half an hour from the cabins we were renting and couldn’t get enough of it. Heradio stayed home a few of the weekends working on the house, but really enjoyed the cabin too. (His indoor bathroom needs were met and all was well.) The most amazing part is that we were out of town seven times and had beautiful weather each time. I finished typing that with some apprehension as the girls and I are going to camp on Lake Superior with my dad and Les and Mike this last weekend (our last summer fling), and now the weather gods will be angered and wreak havoc upon us. I don’t know how we will all adjust to sitting in school next week, but I started my teacher-speak meetings today and survived the rehashing of school improvement goals. Well, time for me to head to bed — I can paddle a canoe for four hours and run an outboard motor for two, but my tendonitis flares up at the mere sight of THE MOUSE. Luckily for me, my job consists mostly of blah-blah-blah the old fashioned way — by mouth. — Elizabeth
pics/james090401.png” align=”left” rightmargin=5>From Frances, an update on Oliver and James, L & L’s newest cousins:”After sleeping through the night (except when their hands have disappeared up their sleeves, causing untold annoyance when they want to suck their thumbs), they mostly enjoy themselves greatly during the day nowadays.
~tmkuster/images/oliver090401.png” align=”right”>They especially like to smile at anyone who’ll make funny faces at them, or alternatively dance and sing for their amusement. They sometimes stare into each other’s eyes now, and crack a broad smile or two, before completely ignoring each other again. We’re not sure how much they weigh now, but it’s probably a lot. Their new friends include several other twin babies and a three-legged dog who they like very much.”
Behold: Lillian and Laura’s new cousins, James and Oliver.
Auntie Frances just got out of the hospital the other day, and is still required to take it easy. In the meantime Gerry (Mary’s brother) has been having to run things himself, making sure James and Oliver get fed, changed and held and comforted and so on. These are of course the conditions — sleep deprivation, pressure, anxiety, noise — that show you what you are made of. I gather that Gerry is finding out he’s made of heavier material than he suspected. He’s had lots of backup from the family, and some professional child care help too, but in the end he’s had to rely on himself pretty hard, and he has pulled it off with some style so far. I’m one of the lucky dads, the kind whose kids arrive calmly, almost casually, get under way without many big crises, rarely calling on me to do anything more heroic than show up, so I make these observations as if from the bleachers, watching Gerry knock balls out of the park.
Lillian and Laura and Mary and I went to inspect their new twin cousins this weekend, on the same floor of the same hospital where Laura was born, and they (the cousins) look great. Oliver and Jack. Auntie Frances needed some rest after the delivery but was doing quite well when we saw her and expected to be railroaded out of the hospital shortly. She’s probably home by now.
