Ted, Ted, Ted

Let us now praise really, really bad books for children. Has anyone seen anything worse than Robert Munsch’s monumental Love You Forever? Forget about books that don’t quite live up their potential (see below). This one has none to live up to. This unbelievable dog, which regularly shows up on the checkout stand racks at Borders-type stores, manages to combine in a single thin book all the simpering sentimentality, reinforcement of conservative cultural norms, bad writing and horrible art work that made children’s literature the publishing backwater it was for so many years. I think it’s the worst children’s book now on the shelves. Tell me I’m wrong. Your homework for the holidays is to come up with the most horrendous children’s book that you know to be currently in print. Painful as the exercise may be. Do it for the community. Do it for closure, or whatever. (The “in print” part is designed to eliminate Struwelpeter, my German grandmother’s favorite cautionary book for kids, because I just don’t like to think about that one. I’m pretty sure it’s out of print.) Note: Munsch’s labor of schlock has been hashed over pretty thoroughly over the years. There may not be much more to say about it. But I don’t know of any actual collections of bad kids’ books. So let’s get started.