I think Alfie Kohn is exactly right on testing (and I say this as someone whom testing has been unreasonably good to), but he can also get a little excited. There’s been another small revival lately of the backlash, never too far under the surface, against “over-rewarding” kids for achievements or behavior we like. Sparing the rod is all very well, the thinking goes, but don’t go too far the other way or your kid will grow up “addicted to praise,” always looking over her shoulder for the approval that really ought to come from within.
OK, but why let it drop there? Make the kid walk to all her appointments and lessons and games and so on, I’m thinking. Driving her all over town, cutting her natural commute time to a fraction of what it might be, only perpetuates her dependence on us. Where will she get the flinty self-reliance to get her own self from point A to point B? How will she learn what it really takes to travel 20 or 30 steep blocks without the crutch of the parental Camry — the self-discipline, the heartache, the worn-out sneakers? Maybe when she gets there, we can say “Good job.”
Post a Comment