Disobey II
Also sprach Gail, who said it was OK if I reprinted her response to my rant on disobedience (see the July 6 entry). (Please feel free to joinin; click on my name anywhere on this screen and have at it.) “I check out your blogger site every now and again, and I was reading the story about Laura and the word disobey, which you had already told me, and it just struck me a little off kilter, because you know, a single person “disobeying” (or standing up to) a friend is a very different thing from a whole group of people getting together and compromising with each other to take a stand against an injustice. I know you’re proud of Laura (and I won’t go on with the obligatory words, though I actually think them, confirming your wisdom on the subject), but maybe her joy in not doing what others want her to could get a little out of hand sometimes. But maybe you weren’t even quite serious, and I, being decidedly earnest, have taken it too far?
“Well, when Lee was little, I think I had something similar in mind. I was trying to parent in a way I thought would make him grow up to be a radical. But he ended up being so bossy he didn’t have any friends for a while, and even now, it’s difficult to negotiate with him about the simplest things — washing his face, taking a bath, letting Ian sit in his special chair (it actually never has happened when Lee was home), etc. Don’t get me wrong, I adore Lee — he’s energetic, enthusiastic, democratic in mind (in practice, he’s a bit weak!), intelligent, innovative, loving, knows exactly what he wants to do, unless he’s got two things he wants to do (like checking out some Mayan ruins or playing one more All Star game), etc. But working with him in a group isn’t easy. The way we raise our children doesn’t always determine the future we think it will. I’m trying to think of a metaphor here: I think I’m aiming for the side pocket and the ball goes off to the right, hits the side wall (or whatever it’s called) and ends up near the middle of the table, far from any pocket.”
Categorised as: Laura